beyond the rum (hungover)
by Xephonia
Summary: "Now is not the time for this." "'Not the time' my ass, what did you do last night?" Pirate captain Nasch wakes up naked inside Navy member Kaito's house.


Obnoxiously white walls. A room too tidy and clean to be his own. Ryouga instinctively looks for a window and finds it, scowling at the small size. He doesn't even see the sky or the ocean.

 _Where the hell am I?_

Ryouga registers his immense headache and yeah, he should've known, hangover.

 _That's what I get for having a drinking competition with Kaito._

Looking around, he spots a painting of a younger Kaito and a blue-haired boy next to him on the wall. Ryouga almost chuckles because of how strange Kaito looks with a smile, and he supposes the painter was paid for that. What intrigues him is the blue-haired boy on the painting though.

 _Weak spot, huh?_

He closes his eyes and rolls over. And it's a bit colder than usual and—

 _I'm naked?!_

His eyes snap open and he looks below the covers and _fuck_ , he really is naked.

 _Breathe in deeply, try to remember._

He vaguely recalls going to his usual place when suddenly, Tenjou Kaito of all people sat down and started talking to him. Then a few words became a long conversation, they had a drinking competition

—and that's where his memory ends.

Ryouga's been here once, not long ago, after the best fight of his life. And he figures that— being one of the most feared pirates in the Seven Seas and all— he should not be sleeping over at the house of a Navy member that often, or at all. But then again he's no ordinary pirate.

 _So does it matter?_

A quick glance around tells him that there's no sight of the Barian crest or his own clothes, and he doesn't want to steal from Kaito's closet in this situation given that this is the second time Kaito hasn't killed him when he had the chance.

 _Pirates have standards, too. At least I do._

He swears, pulls the covers closer and then yawns, ready to go back to sleeping.

The door opens.

"I'm surprised you didn't look for anything of value yet," Kaito remarks as he walks in, yawning as he does. He pulls a chair to the bed and sits down, rubbing his eyes and Ryouga figures it's good to know he isn't the only one who's probably having a severe case of hangover and bed head right now.

"I was busy questioning why I am naked, and for that matter, why you're half naked."

"Because it's noon and your clothes are inside that closet. I kinda expected you to remember, you know."

"Remember what?"

Kaito smirks and gets up to open the closet. "Where we hid them yesterday in case someone sees you with me."

"What do you—" Ryouga is hit by his clothes. "Oi!"

"Your boots are in the hallway. Now get some clothes on before your crew comes to pick you up. Remember last time?"

Yeah, he remembers Rio knocking at Kaito's door to bargain for her "stupid brother's freedom". They were equally surprised when Kaito handed him over without any demands except for this stays our secret and that was more of a threat than a warning anyway.

Ryouga nods, looks at his clothes, looks at Kaito. "Then get out."

"You know I've seen you naked already, so why should I?"

"You have _what_?"

"Now is not the time for this."

"'Not the time' my ass, what did you do last night?"

"Well, your ass."

A beat.

"We, you—"

"Yeah. Now get those clothes on and don't be so fucking loud, I have a hangover."

Ryouga vaguely questions why Kaito wasn't next to him then when he's woke up, but he figures that Kaito has been awake for a while already.

 _What a great pirate I am._

Ryouga shakes his head and proceeds to get dressed — while wondering why the heck Kaito keeps looking at him, _aren't Navy members supposed to have manners?_ — and spots a red mark below Kaito's collarbone. More than one.

 _At least he's gonna be reminded of it._

"Don't you feel bad about having fucked a pirate? A pirate rumoured to be undead, no less."

"You seemed pretty alive last night." That smirk. That damn self-satisfied smirk.

Ryouga scans the room for his cutlass and scowls when he doesn't see it.

Kaito's gaze follows Ryouga's. "Can we do this when we both don't have a hangover? I don't think either of us is much of a challenge right now."

"Fine." Ryouga's scowl intensifies. "Where is the crest?"

"What crest?"

"Don't play dumb. The Barian crest. The one I always have around my neck, asshole."

"Oh."

Ryouga barely dodges when the crest comes flying at him. "What was that for?!"

"You wanted it, _asshole_." That smirk again.

"You have a damn potty mouth for a member of the Navy." Ryouga, now fully dressed, sits down on the bed.

Kaito shrugs. "Don't flatter me." He digs out a shirt from his closet and puts it on, now not half naked anymore. Ryouga notices the relatively high cut of the shirt and smirks, to which Kaito scowls.

"Embarrassed?" Ryouga teases.

"You're damn convinced of yourself for someone who's just been told that he's fucked with member of the Navy."

"I have all the reason to. Anyway, who won the drinking competition last night?" Ryouga puts on the Barian crest as he speaks.

"We both passed out at the same time."

"Again."

Last time it was a sword fight, this time it was a drinking fight— the result is all the same.

 _Except for the part where we had sex._

"Again," Kaito repeats and pulls out Ryouga's weapons from the closet. "Where did you get that cutlass from? Pirates don't have good swords like this one." He traces the golden hilt and unsheathes the blade, looking at it in interest.

"Why wouldn't you just assume that I stole it?" Ryouga stretches himself, wondering when he's gonna be picked up.

The others are pretty reliable, the question is more whether they ran into trouble because of his absence.

"You seem like the kind of guy who cares about his swordsmanship."

 _He's not wrong._

"So do you," Ryouga takes the weapons from Kaito's hands and lays them on the bed. "My crew mate made it for me. He's a great blacksmith." He smiles at the thought of Gilag hearing that his work has been praised.

"Too bad I'm not a pirate, I'd love to have a cutlass like that."

"You can always join, you know."

"You said the same last night." Kaito throws a comb in Ryouga's direction.

"What?"

"I don't wanna have to explain why the captain of the Silent Honor's Ark walks out of my house with messy hair and a flushed face."

Ryouga is certain that his face is not flushed (definitely not!).

"Just give me my hat." He stares at the comb and figures, no, he doesn't wanna comb his hair, because his hair is as unruly as the sea.

"You're damn incompetent for someone who's said to be the best pirate around." Kaito sits down next to Ryouga, picking up the comb and running it through his hair.

"What— ouch, what the heck are you doing?!"

"I'm detangling your hair, now shut up, you look like hell."

And Ryouga grits his teeth because he doesn't recall combing ever hurting that much, and he figures that Kaito doesn't try to be gentle, either.

"Says the right one."

 _What got my hair this tangled in the first place?_

And Ryouga figures that maybe he doesn't wanna know, and he pulls a face when he feels his hair being tied into a ponytail.

"Now get off me, bastard." Ryouga scowls.

Kaito smirks and hands Ryouga his hat. Ryouga is aware that Kaito must be having fun right now.

 _This is even worse than when he's serious._

Kaito takes the comb and makes his own hair look— kind of, at least— presentable.

"Give me my hat."

"It still looks stupid on you."

Ryouga is annoyed because _oi, it's a pirate hat, it's not supposed to match with my hair anyway_ , and he gets up and takes the hat from the closet, putting it on.

"I told you my hat does not look stu—"

Seven knocks on the door, in quick succession.

 _Rio's here already?_

Ryouga gives Kaito a brief nod. "That's her."

Kaito walks to the door, his steps careful regardless of what Ryouga said. "Merag?"

"Yeah, I'm here to pick my stupid brother up. The townspeople said you carried him home again."

As Ryouga puts on his boots, Kaito opens the door. "Yeah."

"It still surprises me you want nothing for not handing him to the Navy," Rio says, and she smiles because of how annoyed Ryouga looks.

"Who would I fight if Nasch was gone?"

"Ryouga," Ryouga says as he stands up again and turns to leave.

"Ryouga?"

"My name."

Kaito raises an eyebrow, then his lips show something that Ryouga does not think is a smirk, but not entirely a smile either.

"I'll keep it in mind."


End file.
